


Never Fall for a Hopeless Romantic

by stellarmeadow



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:02:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24044827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellarmeadow/pseuds/stellarmeadow
Summary: Somewhere near lunchtime, still early into their shift, a kid walked into the firehouse holding flowers. “Is there an Evan here?”It took Eddie a second to realize who he was talking about. “Yeah,” he said, jogging over to the kid. “I’ll give them to him.”The kid handed them over and took off. Eddie stared at Buck’s name, his actual name, along with the address of the firehouse, on the envelope stuck in the arrangement.  His fingers literally itched with the urge to open it, but he wouldn’t.Knowing Buck, he wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut about who sent them for thirty seconds anyway.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 86
Kudos: 1002





	Never Fall for a Hopeless Romantic

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to tarialdarion and smudgegirl, as always, for cheerleading and making sure no one is time traveling or doing things to themselves that is anatomically impossible. And to the other wonderful people who are so much fun to chat Buddie with and who helped with the gestures - THANK YOU!

It all started with the flowers.

Well, wasn’t entirely true. Buck had seemed a little too pleased with himself all morning. Not that he wasn’t always full of himself, but there was something different this time, something Eddie had yet to put a name to.

But the flowers were the first clue.

Somewhere near lunchtime, still early into their shift, a kid walked into the firehouse holding flowers. “Is there an Evan here?”

It took Eddie a second to realize who he was talking about. “Yeah,” he said, jogging over to the kid. “I’ll give them to him.”

The kid handed them over and took off. Eddie stared at Buck’s name, his actual name, along with the address of the firehouse, on the envelope stuck in the arrangement. His fingers literally itched with the urge to open it, but he wouldn’t.

Knowing Buck, he wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut about who sent them for thirty seconds anyway. 

He’d just placed the on the dining table when Buck came up the stairs. “Hey, _Evan_ Eddie said, “you have a delivery.”

“Huh? I didn’t order—oh.” Buck spotted the arrangement and fucking hell Eddie wished he’d been the one to put that look on Buck’s face. He hurried over to the table and pulled out the card, his smile growing so bright that Eddie was surprised it didn’t short out the electricity. 

“So who’s that from?” Eddie asked.

Buck tucked the card deep in his back pocket. “I, uh…I went on a date last night.” 

“Guess it went well,” Eddie said, like the words didn’t taste like burnt cinders, still a little hot.

“Yeah.” And seriously, he couldn’t even be fully annoyed when Buck beamed like that. “I guess it did.”

***

One flower delivery might have been bad enough. But after the third day, Eddie was seriously on edge. What the fuck was with this person anyway, that he felt like he needed to send Buck flowers every day just to keep him interested? 

And it was definitely a ‘he’—Buck had let that slip the first day. 

“I don’t know,” he said to Hen, while Eddie listened in, whether he wanted to or not. “He’s just…he’s sweet, you know? Like, last night, he took me to this restaurant that I swear it takes a month to get reservations for, and we—”

Eddie had never been so glad to hear the bell go off in his life.

***

“No, really,” Buck said to Chim. “You _have_ to take Maddie there! The food is amazing. And Jeff said that on Fridays they do this—”

Eddie tuned out of the conversation. He would rather not know anything about what Jeff said. Or who Jeff was.

Or that Jeff existed.

***

By day five, Eddie was resolved. He would be a better friend. If Buck was happy, then Eddie was happy. That was all there was to it.

And if Eddie would prefer Buck be happy with someone else—like, say, Eddie—then that was too bad. Because it was just possible, maybe, that Eddie had missed his chance.

Eddie was tying his boots when Buck walked into the locker room. “Hey,” Eddie said, looking as Buck yawned. “Late night?”

Buck nodded. “Jeff took me to this restaurant overlooking the ocean,” he said, and seriously, the happiness on Buck’s face was a little like staring into the sun. “And then we went for a walk on the beach and then…well, um….” 

He trailed off, leaving Eddie with a thousand images that cut like broken glass. Buck with some faceless asshole who might be wining and dining him, but didn’t deserve him. 

Didn’t he, though? 

He was clearly giving Buck what he wanted, things that Eddie wouldn’t be able to afford, even if he knew how to do them without feeling utterly ridiculous. It wasn’t who he was.

And apparently that made him not even remotely what Buck wanted. 

“Eddie?”

“Hm, sorry.” Eddie shook himself.

Buck peered down at him. “You have a late night, too?”

“Yeah, Chris wasn’t in any mood to go to sleep.”

Which wasn’t nearly as exciting as dinners with views and moonlit strolls down the beach. 

“Oh, man, sorry. I was kind of hoping I could come over on Sunday, if that was okay? I haven’t seen him in a few days.”

Eddie tried not to sound like it was the best idea he’d heard in days. “Yeah, that’d be…that’d be good. I think Chris misses you a little.”

 _Not just Chris, you coward._

Buck chewed on his cheek for a few seconds. “Yeah, I miss him, too. It’s just been…it’s been the strangest week.”

And there it was, that _look_ again. Eddie didn’t care how beautiful that look was on Buck’s face, he hated it nonetheless.

_Yeah, but would you hate it if you put it there?_

He told his inner voice to fuck off and told Buck that would be great before he all but ran out of the room.

***

On day six, Eddie met Jeff.

It wasn’t intentional. Eddie was heading upstairs when Buck called him over near the doors. It wasn’t until Eddie saw how close Buck was standing to some guy who was a lot more ordinary looking that Eddie had imagined was the infamous Jeff. But then he couldn’t fathom why Buck would be standing so close if this wasn’t him.

“Hey, Eddie, this is Jeff,” Buck confirmed. “Jeff, this is my best friend, Eddie.”

Never in the entire time they’d known each other had Eddie wanted to deny the ‘best friend’ description. “Nice to meet you,” Eddie said, shaking Jeff’s hand a little harder than really necessary. If Jeff noticed, he didn’t act like it. 

“You, too,” Jeff said. “Evan talks about you a lot.”

 _Does he, now?_ Eddie gave him a slight smile. “I’ve heard a few things about you, too,” he said. 

“Jeff is a little early,” Buck said,. “We’re going down to San Diego for the weekend.”

It took Eddie a moment to process the words. “Wow, going out of town for the weekend?” he said, at last. “Together?”

Buck was frowning at him. “Yeah. I’ll be back by Sunday afternoon to see Chris, though, I promise.”

“Oh, good. He’s asked about ten times since last night if you were still coming.”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Buck turned to Jeff. “Eddie’s got the best kid.”

“Right, that’s the one you were talking about?” 

“Yeah. We’ll be back in time for me to make pizza night, though, right?”

Jeff cupped Buck’s cheek, and Eddie curled his fingers into a fist so tight his nails dug into his palms. “Of course. Whatever you need.”

“I’m just gonna go upstairs,” Eddie said. “Nice to meet you again.”

He turned and left fast enough that he didn’t have to hear whatever Jeff said as he left.

***

“Eddie.”

Hen’s voice was close enough that Eddie really should have sensed her coming, but he’d been too busy staring at Buck and Jeff talking by the doors. “What?” he said absently.

He felt as much as heard Hen’s sharp intake of breath, as well as the long exhale that always meant she had more to say than she was going to let slip out of her mouth. “You okay?”

Eddie glanced at her. “I’m fine, why?”

“Because you’ve been staring at Buck and his boyfriend ever since you came up here.”

“Boyfriend?” Eddie whipped his head around to look at her. “They’re boyfriends now?”

Her smirk said everything. “Well, Buck hasn’t said that, but your reaction says a lot.”

“Huh?”

She mumbled something that Eddie thought might be ‘men’ but he couldn’t be sure. “You know,” she said slowly, as if she was being extra careful with her words, “Buck’s known Jeff for a total of six days.”

“Right?” Eddie said. “Don’t you think it’s weird that they’re going out of town together after less than a week? I mean, are we sure this guy isn’t some kind of serial killer? Maybe we should have Athena check him out.”

Hen pressed her lips together like she was trying very hard not to laugh. “You know,” she said, still in that careful, halting way, “Buck has been waiting for a while for someone to care about him as much as he cared about them.”

Like he needed a reminder that his kind of romance apparently wasn’t what Buck wanted? “And?”

“And I’m not sure that Jeff is what he’s ultimately looking for.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Clearly he’s enjoying being wined and dined and treated like the prettiest princess in the land.”

She shook her head. “People enjoy roller coasters sometimes, too,” she said. “Doesn’t mean they don’t want something else a little more real and sustainable in their lives.”

“Well Buck seems to be just fine with what he’s got.” 

Hen shook her head again. “Eres un idiota.”

“Since when did you speak Spanish?” Eddie asked.

“Since you were too stupid to understand English.” She backhanded him on the shoulder. “I just hope that Eddie’s not married by the time you do.”

“Married?” Eddie gaped at her. “You don’t think they—”

“I am done here,” Hen said, holding her hands up in surrender. “Totally done. You idiots are on your own.”

She walked away, leaving him to glare down at Buck and Jeff until their shift ended a few minutes later.

***

Eddie knocked on Bobby’s office door, waiting until he looked up before walking in. “Hey, Cap.”

“Eddie. Did you need something?”

“Um, I was just wondering if you’d met that guy Buck is seeing.”

Bobby’s mouth slipped into an almost-frown. “Jeff?”

“Yeah, I think that’s his name.”

“I met him earlier. Why?”

Eddie shrugged. “Well, I mean, they’re going out of town together this weekend, and we don’t even know who this guy is. I mean, he could be a serial killer.”

Bobby blinked at him. “Serial killer?”

“I mean, okay, the odds aren’t great, but it’s possible.”

“Eddie,” Bobby said, leaning back in his chair, and Eddie knew that tone, that was the ‘dad’ tone that he’d heard aimed at Buck so many times. “What’s this really about?”

“It’s about Buck’s safety. We all know he’s not always the most careful with his own safety, and I just don’t know that he’s considered the risks of going out of town with a virtual stranger. I mean, this guy calls him ‘Evan’ for God’s sake.”

“That’s his name.”

Eddie let out a frustrated noise. “Maybe, but if this guy _really_ knew him, he’d be calling him ‘Buck’ because that’s who he _is_.”

Bobby studied him for a moment. “I’m gonna ask again—what’s this really about?”

Eddie shrugged, suddenly unable to meet Bobby’s eyes. “I just worry about him,” Eddie said finally. “I think he jumps into things without thinking about all the consequences.”

“Is that it?” Bobby asked. “Or is it the fact that he jumps at all? Or worse, that he jumps, but it’s into the wrong place?”

Eddie blinked. “Huh?”

Bobby drew in a breath and let it out very much like Hen had done. “All I’m saying,” he said carefully, “is that maybe you should go think about why this bothers you so much. And I don’t mean because you think this guy is a serial killer.” 

“I’m just saying, have you at least asked Athena to check him out?”

“Eddie, don’t you have work to do?”

He knew a dismissal when he heard one. “Right, sorry,” he said, as he turned and walked out.

Athena’s response of “LOLOL” when he texted her about checking Jeff out wasn’t any more helpful.

***

Eddie was long past pretending he didn’t know what day it was and on to watching the clock when Buck showed up at 3:30 on Sunday. He held back and pretended like he didn’t want to basically climb Buck the way Chris did when Buck walked in the door and instead made himself happy with just a hello. 

By the time Chris and Buck were on the couch, happily debating which super hero would outlast the others, Eddie was watching from the kitchen, phoning Pizza Hut and hoping that the delivery guy ran over Jeff on his way.

It would improve his tip.

***

Chris had insisted that Buck put him to bed, and who was Eddie to argue with his kid, especially when his kid hadn’t seen Buck in a week? 

By the time Buck was back, Eddie had collected himself and was absolutely fine with Buck having done whatever he wanted with his weekend. In fact, Eddie wanted to forget all about it.

“So how was your weekend?” Eddie said.

Or something.

“It was great,” Buck said enthusiastically. “We went to this little B&B outside of San Diego, and….” Buck met Eddie’s gaze. “And it was really nice,” he said, shrugging. 

“Oh?” Eddie asked, exhibiting a heretofore unknown masochistic streak of epic proportions. “Do tell.”

 _Do tell?_ The phrase must not have alarmed Buck, though, because he said, “Yeah, they serve you breakfast in the mornings in your room and it’s just…it’s really amazing.”

Eddie nodded as he finished drying a dish that had been dry for a few minutes. “So things are going well with you and…Jeff, right?”

Buck nodded. “Really well, considering it’s been…oh, wow, it’s about a week.”

“A week yesterday,” Eddie said helpfully.

“I guess you’re right,” Buck said. “It’s just all been such a whirlwind.”

Much more of a whirlwind than Eddie would have managed, even if had that kind of money. “I guess it’s everything you’ve wanted in a relationship?”

“I guess.”

It’s only Eddie’s warped perception that made Buck sound uncertain about it.

***

Ten days in, not that Eddie was keeping count, Eddie walked into the locker room at the end of their shift as Buck was buttoning up his shirt. “Hey, are you—” 

He spotted a bruise on Buck’s collarbone, just peeking out from behind the shirt. “Did you get hurt on that last call?” Eddie asked. “I thought you said the guy didn’t kick you that hard when I gave him that shot.”

Buck’s blush would have been adorable if Eddie wasn’t so worried. But then he tugged his shirt closed so the bruise wasn’t visible and said, head ducked, “No, it’s not a bruise….”

Oh. _Oh._ “Right,” Eddie stammered. “Got it.” 

“So, um….” Buck scratched the back of his neck and looked anywhere but directly at Eddie—despite the fact that a hickey is hardly a crime. “You headed out?”

He had been. Chris was at a sleepover, and Eddie was looking forward to a little quiet time at home. But now…. “Not yet. I’m gonna get a little workout in.” 

“After a long shift?” 

“Yeah, I need to kill some adrenaline before I go home, and Chris is at a sleepover, so…are you going out with Jeff?”

Buck nodded, tugging his shirt together again, even though the hickey wasn’t visible. But that blinding smile that Jeff’s name had brought about the first week or so was a lot dimmer. Also, there hadn’t been any flower deliveries in a few days.

Then again, maybe with the hickey as a longer lasting reminder, Jeff thought he didn’t need daily flowers….

“I’m out. Have a good night,” Buck said as he brushed past Eddie. “And Eds?” 

Eddie turned to see Buck standing in the doorway. “Yeah?”

“Just…don’t overdo it in the gym. It’s been a long day.”

Eddie nodded, and Buck gave him a tight smile before he left. 

He wouldn’t overdo it. He just needed to take the edge off. 

***

Over an hour later, Eddie stopped and pulled out his ear buds as he sat down, breathing hard. He was soaked through with sweat, the department issue gym towels no match for that much bagwork. 

He drained a small bottle of water from the fridge and then headed for the showers. Water was nice and all, but if he went home, he could have the nice, cold beer he really wanted.

***

The house was too quiet when Eddie walked in. For all that he’d thought he was looking forward to that, it felt wrong. So much of his off-hours life was wrapped up in Chris that not having him there was weird. 

Still, it gave him the chance to relax a little. He dropped his bag and went straight for the fridge, popping open a bottle of beer and drinking half of it in one go without leaving the kitchen. He should probably nuke a pizza or something to have with the next beer, but his stomach wasn’t really interested, so he didn’t bother. 

Beer was practically food anyway, right?

When he finished that bottle, he grabbed the rest of the six-pack from the fridge and took it into the living room. He sat the pack on the coffee table and dropped onto the couch before opening another one. 

What were Buck and Jeff drinking on their date? Probably wine. Jeff looked like a wine snob. He probably insisted on tasting five different ones before settling on the one, and then complained about how bad it was after the waiter left.

Eddie rolled his eyes at the image of Jeff, looking down his nose at his glass as if it personally offended him. What did Buck see in the guy anyway? What was it that brought that huge smile to Buck’s face when he thought of him?

Though the smile hadn’t been quite as big tonight. 

Maybe that was a sign things weren’t going as well in week two. Or maybe it was just Eddie’s wishful thinking.

He glared at his beer bottle before taking a long drink. Maybe if he drank enough of them, he wouldn’t care what Buck saw in Jeff.

Unlikely, but worth a try.

***

He’d just drained his fourth beer when Sarah Conover, the mom hosting the sleepover called. “Hi, Eddie, it’s Sarah. Kenny’s mom.”

“Is something wrong with Chris?”

“Nothing serious. He’s just not feeling well, and said he wanted to go home. I was hoping maybe you could come pick him up.” 

“Yeah, sure, I’ll be right there.”

He hung up before he remembered that he was in no shape to drive, and picked up his phone again and dialed. Buck answered quickly, and Eddie heard the unmistakable clinks and quiet conversations that meant he was at a restaurant. “Eddie?”

“Shit, sorry, I forgot. You’re on a date.”

“Never mind that,” Buck said. “What’s wrong?”

Eddie should just say never mind. He should hang up and call Carla, or Hen or Chim. Or an Uber. Leave Buck to his date.

“It’s Chris,” Eddie said. “He’s not feeling well and I need to go pick him up from his sleepover, but I’ve been drinking.”

“I’m on my way.”

Buck hung up before Eddie could protest.

***

“Sorry again,” Eddie said, as Buck hurried through the streets to the Conover house. “About your date.”

“I told you before, don’t worry about it.” Buck glanced at the GPS, then at Eddie. “It’s Chris.”

The words and the tone that went with them, as if it should be obvious, made Eddie’s heart do a little flip. Or maybe that was just Buck’s speeding combined with alcohol. 

“Yeah,” Eddie said, “but I could have called Carla. Or an Uber. I didn’t need to interrupt.”

“Eddie,” Buck said, as he pulled up to the Conover house and fixed Eddie with a look. “It’s _Chris_. If you keep on apologizing, I’m gonna start getting offended.”

“Okay. Got it. No more apologies.” 

Eddie got out of the Jeep and headed for the door, which opened as Eddie hit the stoop. “He feels a little warm,” Sarah said quietly, as she held the door open for Chris, who immediately went for Eddie. 

“Hey mijo,” Eddie said. “Not feeling so great?”

Chris shook his head before tucking his face into Eddie’s neck. “Thanks for calling me,” Eddie said to Sarah. 

“No problem. Poor kid—let me know tomorrow how he’s doing?”

“I will. Thanks again.” 

He turned around to find Buck a few paces behind him, ready to take Chris’s crutches off Eddie’s hands. They fell into step together, and when Chris lifted his head, he gave Buck a slight smile. “Hey, Buck.”

“Hey, kiddo. Nice to see you.” 

“You, too.” Chris tucked his face back in against Eddie’s neck. Eddie got in the back of the Jeep, but he didn’t put Chris down in the other seat. He let him rest where he was, his skin a little too warm for Eddie’s liking, but not so hot that he wanted to head for the hospital.

Buck kept checking the rearview mirror to see how they were doing, and every time their eyes met in the reflection, Eddie felt…grounded, for lack of a better word. He didn’t feel overwhelmed or panicked because Buck was there to help carry the load. 

*** 

They’d barely made it into the house when Chris said, “Daddy, I don’t feel so good,” and promptly threw up all over Eddie’s shirt, and part of the hallway. 

“Sorry.” 

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” Eddie said. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” He turned to look at Buck, first. “Thanks again for coming to get me. Us.”

“Always.”

The word left a lump in Eddie’s throat that wouldn’t let any more words out, so he just nodded and headed down the hall to the bathroom. He cleaned Chris up, then himself, leaving both their soiled shirts in the bathroom to deal with later. Once he’d taken Chris’s temperature and determined the hospital wasn’t needed, he picked Chris up again.

“Let’s go get you into some fresh clothes,” Eddie said on the way back down the hall. The mess in the hallway was gone, and Eddie would have to think of something nice to do for Buck to thank him for all he’d done tonight. 

Anything but flowers. 

He got Chris into a new set of pajamas and settled into bed. “Here,” Eddie said, placing Chris’s waste basket beside the bed. “If you feel sick again, try to throw up in here, okay?”

Chris grabbed onto Eddie’s arm. “You’re not leaving are you?”

“Just to get you some water, then I’ll be back.”

“Okay.”

Eddie was at the fridge getting a bottle of water when Buck’s voice startled him from behind. 

“How’s he doing?”

“Buck?” Eddie turned. “Sorry, I thought you’d left.”

Buck shook his head, even though the answer was obvious. “Figured I’d stick around and see if I could help.”

“I appreciate it,” Eddie said. “But we’ve already asked enough of you tonight as it is.”

“You haven’t asked for anything other than a ride,” Buck said sharply. “And I’m not asking you if I can stay and help. I’m telling you I’m staying.”

Eddie caught himself just before the argument left his mouth. “Okay,” he said instead. “I, um…thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” 

Buck’s eyes strayed down to Eddie’s chest, reminding Eddie that he was shirtless. Something about the way Buck’s focus lingered there sent Eddie brushing past him. “I need to get Chris this water,” Eddie said, knowing Buck would be right behind him. “Can you please grab me a t-shirt?”

By the time Eddie had gotten a few sips of water in Chris and re-capped the bottle, Buck was there with a shirt. Eddie slid into it gratefully. 

“Dad?”

Chris sounded miserable, and Eddie wished he was the one going through this instead. “Yeah, Chris, I’m here.”

“Can you stay with me for a little while?” 

“Of course.”

“I’ll be out there if you need me,” Buck whispered before he left.

Eddie laid down behind Chris and wrapped his arms around him in the hopes it would help him sleep. 

***

Once he was sure Chris was sound asleep, Eddie went out to get himself some water. He found Buck sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. “He asleep?” Buck asked.

Eddie nodded, dropping into a chair without even getting something to drink. “He’ll be up soon enough. Welcome to life with a kid. Stomach bugs suck.”

“I don’t know.” Buck got up from the table. “I think it’s a small price to pay for a kid like Chris.”

“I think so, too,” Eddie said. Not that it made him any less exhausted, but he couldn’t argue with that reasoning. 

A sandwich appeared on the table, along with a bottle of water.

“Figured you’d be hungry,” Buck said, as he sat back down. 

_God, I love you._ It was on the tip of Eddie’s tongue, but he stopped it before it could slip out. “Thanks,” he managed to get out of his strangled throat. “I kind of forgot to eat earlier.”

“I kind of figured that, too.”

Buck’s smile reached his eyes as he watched Eddie over the edge of his coffee cup. “Eat.”

Eddie smiled back before he tore into the sandwich.

***

It was 5:11 in the morning when Chris’s fever finally broke. He hadn’t thrown up in an hour, and experience told Eddie they were likely through the worst of it.

He came out of Chris’s room and said as much to Buck, who jumped up and pulled Eddie into a tight hug. Eddie sagged into the hug, arms going around Buck just as tightly, as a huge surge of _want_ ran through him. He wanted this so badly. Not just Buck and all 6’2” of playground that went with him, but _this._ A partner who cared just as much about Chris as Eddie did, who was there for fevers as well as parties, for PTA meetings and science fairs and tantrums and everything that went with raising a kid. 

He ached for it, and he particularly ached for it with Buck. But even though Buck had left Jeff on a date to come help, it was one night.

Given how taken Buck seemed with Jeff, it was pretty obvious that forever ship had sailed.

Eddie pulled back, but not completely out of Buck’s embrace. “Thank you again,” Eddie said. 

“Anytime.”

Eddie searched Buck’s eyes, something lurking in the back of them that Eddie couldn’t quite define. Buck bit his lip, like he didn’t know how that looked, and Eddie swallowed down the urge to lean up and bite it as well.

“Eddie—”

“Dad!” 

Eddie stepped back, giving Buck a rueful smile as he turned and jogged into Christopher’s room.

***

Eddie grabbed the bags from the counter and gave the cashier a smile as he walked out. In-N-Out Burger wasn’t exactly healthy, and Buck would not approve, but Buck was working and Eddie and Chris were on their own for dinner, so Buck didn’t have to know.

Also, what business was it of Buck’s in the first place?

Eddie headed for his car at the end of the block, distracted by the theater marquee. Chris had been asking to go see the latest Pixar movie since the trailer had come out a year ago, and it looked like it was finally going to be—

He stopped, squinting at a couple leaning against the wall of the theater. He didn’t recognize the guy against the wall, but the one pressing into him had been annoying Eddie for weeks. 

Jeff leaned in and kissed the other guy again, who was most definitely not Buck. Eddie barely resisted smashing the food in his hands. Which would be better than smashing Jeff’s face, but not nearly as satisfactory.

What the hell did someone do in this situation? Take a picture? Confront Jeff? Call Buck? 

Doing nothing wasn’t an option, and Eddie absolutely did not want to see the look on Buck’s face when his heart broke. 

Eddie took a deep breath and approached the couple. “Jeff?” he said, as if he wasn’t quite sure. 

Jeff’s eyes widened, and he glanced at the other man, then back at Eddie. “Eddie, right?” Jeff said. “Nice to see you again.”

 _Yeah, I can see just how happy you are._ “Yeah, you, too. It’s been what, a couple of weeks? At the firehouse?”

“Kevin, honey,” Jeff said to his friend, “why don’t you go ahead inside and get the popcorn? I’ll be there in a minute.”

Kevin looked confused, but he nodded and headed inside. 

“So,” Eddie said. “Does Buck know you’re here with Kevin? Seeing how you were just kissing the guy a minute ago, I’m going to guess not.”

“I suppose you’re going to go back and tell him?” 

The cool, almost annoyed tone had Eddie’s knuckles itching to punch the douchebag in the face. He could almost feel the satisfaction of the pain radiating down his arm. “No,” Eddie said, barely keeping his calm. “You’re going to break up with Buck. Tomorrow.”

“Why would I do that?” 

“Because if you don’t, I’ll tell him what I just saw.”

“And who do you think he’s going to believe?”

“Me,” Eddie said with a hundred percent certainty. “No contest.”

Jeff stared at him for a moment before looking away. “So what, I just stop calling and he gets the hint?”

 _After Abby? No fucking way._ “Nope, you’re going to go see him tomorrow, and you’re going to make it clear that it’s absolutely you, not him, and you had _better_ not ghost him.”

“Or what?”

“Or I know someone in LAPD who will make your life a living hell just for hurting him if you so much as jaywalk.”

Jeff huffed. “Fine,” he snapped after a moment. “He was getting boring anyway.”

 _Boring? Buck?_ “I suggest you get out of my face before yours isn’t quite so pretty anymore,” Eddie said, his voice deadly quiet.

Jeff blinked once before he turned and went into the theater.

***

“Go get your bath.” Eddie took the plates from dinner into the kitchen. “If you hurry, we can watch a movie before you go to bed.” He heard Chris pick up the pace as he headed down the hall. “And brush your teeth!” Eddie yelled after him.

Eddie had just started the dishes when his phone buzzed. He wiped his hands and pulled his phone out of his pocket to see a text from Buck.

_Can I come over?_

Eddie stared at it for a second. _Of course_ , he sent back, his mouth dry. Buck must have talked with Jeff by now, but Eddie had no idea what Jeff said. Or if he’d mentioned Eddie’s part in any of it. 

He’d just finished drying the last dish when there was a soft knock at the front door. Eddie hurried to open the door to find Buck on the other side. “You know you don’t have to knock,” Eddie said. “Also, you don’t have to ask to come over.”

“I—thanks,” Buck said with just a hint of a smile. 

“Door’s always open,” Eddie said, standing back and holding it wide. Once Buck was inside, Eddie closed the door and followed him into the living room. “What’s wrong?” Eddie asked as he went for beers.

Buck sat down on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen. “Jeff broke it off.”

“I’m sorry,” Eddie said. He brought the beers to the couch and sat down, his side pressed into Buck’s. “What did he say?”

“That his ex had come back and wanted to work things out and he felt like he owed it to the guy to try.”

Inventive excuse. Unless, of course, that had been Jeff’s ex at the movies. Something about the way they were acting made it doubtful, but at least this excuse spared Buck.

Or at least spared him some. 

“You were pretty far gone on him already, huh?

Buck shrugged. “I don’t know. I really didn’t have time to figure that out, to be honest. But it was nice.”

“What was?”

“Having someone sweep me off my feet. Treat me like I’m…different. Like I’m….” He looked up at Eddie with a frown. “If I say special are you going to break out the Mariah Carey or something?”

Eddie laughed, holding up his hands. “No judgment. If you want to put on a tutu and a tiara and sing ‘I Feel Pretty’ I promise not to hold it against you if that’s what makes you feel special.”

That got a laugh and the first genuine smile Buck had shown since he arrived. “I think I’ll skip that part, but thanks. Good to know it’s an option.”

“You should know, though,” Eddie said, all traces of humor gone, “that you _are_ special. If this guy didn’t see it enough to stay, then he’s clearly not The One.” More words about all the ways Buck was special were trying to fight their way out of Eddie’s mouth, but he held them back. 

He wasn’t making a move on someone who just got dumped.

“Dad, can we watch Cars? I want—Buck!” Chris came flying into the room to throw himself on Buck’s lap. “Did you come to watch a movie with us?”

Buck glanced at Eddie, who gave him a ‘what did I say about not needing an invitation’ look. Or at least he hoped that was the look. It got the message across, at least, as Buck said, “You bet.”

“All right!” Chris snuggled in between the two of them as Eddie pulled up the movie. 

And if Eddie spent more time watching Buck than he did the actual movie, what did it matter?

***

Eddie stared at the ceiling in the early hours of the morning, turning their earlier conversation over in his head. How the hell could Buck not see how special he was? The guy was nothing but one giant heart barely contained inside a body that didn’t quit. 

He loved Christopher more than anyone on the planet did, with the exception of Eddie. His whole life was one big series of helping people, from people whose names he never even knew as a firefighter, to those like Red he’d just met and yet couldn’t help but want to make their lives better. 

Eddie had a few things he’d like to say to the people who’d left Buck to wonder if he was good enough. But those words wouldn’t help Buck. Neither would another Jeff. 

Maybe, though, just maybe, Eddie could help. He sucked at the grand gestures—one of the things Shannon had constantly complained about was Eddie’s complete lack of what she considered to be a romantic streak.

But he could do things to show Buck that he was, in fact, special. That he was loved.

Even if Eddie wasn't what Buck wanted, at least Eddie could show him that. 

***

Buck was already in the locker room when Eddie arrived the next morning, to-go cups in hand. He placed one on the stool next to Buck, who looked down at it, then up at Eddie. “Whoa, Dinosaur Coffee? Seriously? You must have had to leave early to go by there.” 

Eddie shrugged, as if an hour extra driving in LA morning traffic was nothing. “Chris needed to be at school early, so I figured why not?”

“Sorry you had to get up, man, but thank you!” 

Buck took a sip, then sighed, his whole face lighting up. “Thanks.” He opened his eyes to meet Eddie’s. “For the coffee, and for last night.”

“You know that Chris is going to hold you to the promise to watch Cars 2 and 3, right?” Eddie said as Buck got up.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Buck said as he walked out.

***

Through some miracle, they actually managed to make it to lunch without a call. Buck, a little more subdued now that the coffee high had passed, picked at his lunch. Eddie elbowed him, and when Buck gave him puppy eyes, Eddie sighed and dumped more salad on Buck’s plate with a look that he normally only used on Chris when he wasn’t interested in dinner.

“Don’t push him if he doesn’t want to eat, Eddie,” Chim said, laughter in his eyes. “He probably wants to keep his girlish figure for Jeff.”

Eddie dropped his hand down below the table, letting it land on Buck’s thigh and stay there, a warm comfort that would hopefully keep that look on Buck’s face from getting any worse. If he hadn’t told the rest of the team that he and Jeff had broken up, that was his business.

“Hey, not all of us need to work as hard as you do to keep the weight off, Chim,” Eddie said. “Or so I heard Maddie say the other day….”

That got them off on a whole other tangent, Buck’s appetite and relationship forgotten. After a moment, Buck’s hand covered Eddie’s, giving it a squeeze. 

***

Eddie was lacing up his boots when Buck walked in, half dressed for home. “Hey, if you don’t have anything going on tonight,” Eddie said, “would you mind coming over? Chris is doing this assignment for English and it’s not really my best subject. He could use the help.”

“You mean you’re passing up the opportunity to ask the hot English teacher to come help him?” Buck teased.

“I think her even hotter husband might have an issue with the request,” Eddie said, giving Buck a pointed look.

Buck blinked. “Oh.” After a moment, he tore his gaze away from Eddie and focused on buttoning up his shirt. “Yeah,” he said, “I’m happy to come help. I’ll see you there in a few?”

“Great, thanks!” 

Eddie finished tying his shoes and stood, clapping Buck on the shoulder as he walked by. 

If his hand rested there just a little longer than really necessary, well, no one was watching.

***

Buck had moped about the firehouse for over an hour before Eddie finally coaxed him over to the couch to play video games. The game was a great distraction, and if Eddie held back a little so that Buck could win, it was worth it for that huge smile that lit up his face.

Even if he won four times in a row.

“Wow,” Hen said, leaning over the back of the couch. “I’ve never seen Buck win like that against you.” 

Eddie shot her a warning look. Unlike Chim, she was a little better at reading a room. She glanced between the two of them, raised an eyebrow at Eddie, then moved away. 

“Wanna go again?” Buck asked.

“Seeing as how you’ve already reset the game and it’s ready to go? Why not?”

***

Two games later they got a call. Apartment fires were always difficult, but this complex had clearly not been built to code by the way it was taking over by the time they got there. 

“Shit,” Buck said as they rolled up, staring at the blaze.

“Yeah.” Eddie opened the door as they stopped, moving as fast as he could despite the certain knowledge they all had that the chances of everyone in that building making it out alive were slim to none.

***

The drive back to the firehouse was quiet. It had taken five hours to completely extinguish the fire and another two on scene before heading back. 

Buck stared out the window, one hand rubbing the fraying edge of his coat distractedly. He’d been the one to pull out two kids, a brother and a sister, both under ten, only to have the boy die in his arms. It hurt to find bodies, hurt even more to hear someone died later, but the ones that you felt die, those were the worst. And when it was a kid….

Eddie laid a hand on Buck’s, stopping him from toying with his coat. Buck gave him a look, eyes bright, before turning back to the window. Before Eddie could pull his hand back, though, Buck turned his over and laced their fingers together. 

They stayed like that until they got back to the firehouse.

***

After a long shower, Eddie found Buck in the bunk room, flipping idly through his phone. “Hey,” Eddie said. “Someone wants to say hi.” 

Eddie held out his phone where Chris was waiting on FaceTime. He was rewarded with a blinding smile from Buck before his phone was snatched out of his hand so Buck could talk to Chris while Eddie sat at the end of the bed and watched and listened.

*** 

By lunchtime on their first day off after the break up, Eddie still hadn’t heard from Buck. Chris had asked three times already if Buck was coming over, that he needed help with his Legos, but Eddie had been reluctant to be the first one to text. 

After lunch, though, he couldn’t let it go any longer. He called, and Buck answered on the third ring. “Hey, I was wondering if you would do me a favor,” Eddie said. 

“Sure.”

“You don’t even know what it is yet.”

“And?”

Eddie laughed. “I need to run a few errands,” he said. “And Chris is building…um, something with Legos, I’m not really sure what. But I don’t want to drag him out of the house when he’s having fun.”

“So you need a babysitter?”

“Would you mind?” Eddie asked. “I promise to pay you in dinner after.”

Buck laughed. “Eddie, trust me, your cooking is not incentive.” 

“Oh, haha. Thank you so much.”

“However, if I can give you some ingredients to pick up while you’re out,” Buck said, “I’ll make you guys dinner.”

“Deal.”

***

Eddie hadn’t been sure of what a few of the ingredients on Buck’s list were, but he’d picked them all up, and the results were delicious. Buck was collecting plates when Eddie got his surprise out of the other room. 

Buck stared at it as Eddie placed it on the table. “Is that Sara Lee Double Chocolate Layer Cake?” Buck breathed.

“Yeah.” He’d had to go to three stores to find it, but he hadn’t forgotten Buck’s stories about Maddie always getting it to cheer him up when they were kids. 

“Oh man, I haven’t had this in years.” Buck looked at the cake like it was a pot of gold before he gave Eddie a similar look. “Thanks,” he said softly. 

Eddie’s cheeks felt warm. “Dig in before it melts or something,” Eddie said, focusing on taking his seat. 

***

Eddie read Chris a bedtime story and came out to find Buck on the couch, eating another slice of cake. “I should’ve bought an extra one,” Eddie said, nodding down at Buck’s plate.

“Shit, I’m sorry, did I eat it all?”

Eddie laughed as he sat down. “No, you’re fine. I just meant if I’d known it was going to make you smile like that I’d have bought more.”

The words sounded different out in the open than they had in his head. “I mean, you know,” Eddie said, “I know it’s been a rough week since everything with Jeff happened.”

“Yeah, but…it’s for the best.” 

He sounded certain about that. “Does that mean you’re going to get back out there already?” Eddie asked, trying to sound neutral about it and not as if he thought it was the worst idea in the world.

Buck shrugged. “I’m not sure anyone out there could really measure up.” 

Eddie swallowed painfully. “Well, yeah,” he said, surprised he could make normal sounds, “I’m sure that after Mr. Hearts and Flowers, it would be hard for anyone else to measure up.”

Buck studied him for a moment. “I read this saying somewhere,” he said slowly. “’Never fall for a hopeless romantic—they collect too many hearts.’”

“Did you read that stitched on a pillow, maybe?”

Buck wrinkled his nose. “Funny. Really. I’m trying to be serious here, do you mind?”

“Sorry.” Eddie schooled his features. “Go on.”

“The whirlwind was fun,” Buck said. “All the romance and the dinners, the trip…it was great. But that can’t last. And someone who’s after that wild romance you get when you first meet is going to get bored and move on to the next person to get that rush again.” 

Buck put his plate on the coffee table and twisted in his seat a little, knee pressing against Eddie’s thigh. “That’s not love,” Buck said. “Love is those little things—private jokes and shared moments, finishing each other’s sentences, not having to use words at all. It’s going out of your way to bring someone their favorite coffee or cake to cheer them up, or little touches at just the right moment to remind them they’re not alone. That they matter. That they’re special.”

_Oh. Oh shit._

Buck took Eddie’s hand as he looked up to meet Eddie’s eyes. “Like I said, I don’t think anyone out there could measure up.” Buck tugged on Eddie’s hand, pulling him closer. “Not to what I have in here.”

The first kiss was like breathing after being under water for too long—Eddie definitely craved more of it as much as he craved oxygen. He leaned in, tongue seeking out all the unexplored places in Buck’s mouth until both of them had to stop for actual air.

Eddie’s head dropped to Buck’s shoulder, breathing in the scent that was uniquely Buck. “I thought I’d lost my chance when you met Jeff,” Eddie said quietly.

“Jeff lost his chance before I ever met him,” Buck said, the words just as low and just as honest. “I think somewhere deep down I’ve been waiting for you since before we even met.”

“Okay, now I know you had to have seen that stitched on a pillow,” Eddie said with a laugh.

“Shut up.” Buck cupped Eddie’s chin, lifting it until their eyes met. “I love you, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Buck rolled his eyes. “Asshole.”

Eddie leaned in for a kiss. “I love you, too,” he said against Buck’s mouth. 

“Good.”

\--  
END

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://stellarm.tumblr.com/), on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/stellarmeadow), or [learn more about my writing](https://www.jamiemeadowswrites.com/)


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